Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 18

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Today, March 18 in
1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to spacewalk 
when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in orbit around
 the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for about 20 minutes. 
More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award:
Indiana man arrested seven times in six months

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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, 
I have friends in both places.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)  

Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?
--- John Clarke

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen 
and stupidity.
--- Harlan Ellison (1934 - ) 
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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders
were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker
on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general
seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker
on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have
orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm
new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Steven Wagers, 
35,
Johnson County,
Indiana

Indiana man arrested seven times in six months

One Indiana man has enough mugshots to populate an Instagram
account. They're all recent, and law enforcement is not happy
about it.

Johnson County Sheriff Duane Burgess said this repeat offender
was arrested this week and is not leaving his jail anytime soon.

 He is just a menace to Johnson County citizens,  Burgess said.

Burgess is talking about 35-year-old Steven Wagers. Wagers has
been arrested seven times in the last six months, including twice
within three days last Friday and Monday. Records show Wagers has
been arrested nearly 30 times over the last 17 years. Most of his
arrests are for thefts and drug possession.

 Every time we catch him and we arrest him he's got some kind of
narcotics that he's in possession of,  Burgess said.  It's been
an occurrence where I'm walking in the jail and he's being
released and I'm like 'Stay out of jail, Steven.' And he's
returning that next day. 

Late Friday night, Wagers was arrested on suspicion of stealing a
car in Greenwood. Deputies said Wagers led them on a chase and
fought with officers when they caught up to him. They said they
found a syringe and pain pills on Wagers when they arrested him.

Monday morning, Wagers was out of jail and police responded to a
call in the same area about a suspicious man in a front yard.
Responding officers recognized Wagers as he ran away from them
again, police said. During the foot chase, they said Wagers
jumped a fence before sitting down in a lawn chair. Police said
they found him with a bag of methamphetamines.

When Burgess heard of the latest arrest Monday, he quickly sought
a court order to hold Wagers without bond. He said the move was
intended to keep Wagers locked up so he couldn't go out and
commit any more crimes pending a court appearance.




From: Myself
Re: Jerome, help!

Dear Jerome
While I was out for an hour taking pictures for a client, my good
old 2009 Acer Aspire laptop died.
Black monitor, not even a poer LED.
I tried contacting Accer support. That was a total waste of time.
Now what?
DearWebby

Dear DearWebby
Take the battery out and plug the laptop in as if the battery was
in it. Those Acer batteries do die without warning.
Jerome

Hi Jerome
You fixed it! 
It runs fine on just the charger.
It seems the battery died when I was not watching for an hour.
Thank you very much!
DearWebby


I may have a lot of answers, but whne I am stumped, I ask Jerome.




Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A gentleman goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide
while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here?  Aren't
there cannibals around here?"

The tourist guide says, "Yes, it's safe. You can be sure
there are no cannibals in Africa."

The tourist replied, "But I heard there may still be some
cannibals around here."

The  guide answered, "There are NO cannibals here.
I'm sure.
We ate the last one yesterday."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided
to teach him a lesson.  She dressed up like Satan, and when
her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped
out from behind the sofa and screamed.

"You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly.
"I married your sister."

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning With Baking Soda
Make a paste of baking soda with water for a mild abrasive.
You can use it instead of Comet or other abrasive cleaners
for cleaning bathroom fixtures. It works well for cleaning
spots off chrome and stainless steel. It can also be added
to your laundry as a booster (1/2 cup should work).

Thriftyfun.com


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How would you like to live on a "shanty-boat?" It would be interesting for a while as long as I didn't have to stay in one place.

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A priest was vested in his surplice and cassock ready to
proceed at the beginning of the service. His surplice was very
ornate, and he was swinging the incense pot which had
smoke coming from it.

A lady touched him on the shoulder and said, "Darling, I love
your dress, but your purse is on fire!"

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Jeff was out playing golf and he had his usual caddy with 
him. "Caddy, why didn't you see where that ball went?" 

"Well, it doesn't usually go anywhere. 
You caught me off guard." 

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.


>From Beth:
Office Memo:   

"Whoever used the milk in the small plastic container that   
was in the refrigerator yesterday, please do NOT own up to   
it. I would find it forever after difficult to meet your   
gaze across a cafeteria table whilst having a discussion   
about java applets or brand identity. Just be aware that   
that milk was EXPRESSLY for my baby, if you get my drift. I   
will label these things from now on, but if you found your   
coffee tasted just a little bit unusual this morning, you   
might think about calling your mom and telling her you love   
her."   

___________________________________________________



Today March 18 in
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius' will and proclaims
Caligula emperor. 

1123 The first Lateran Council (9th ecumenical council) opened in
Rome. 

1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England. 

1532 The English parliament banned payments by English church to
Rome. 

1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of the
Mississippi River. 

1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers. 

1692 William Penn was deprived of his governing powers. 

1766 Britain repealed the Stamp Act. 

1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight. 

1818 The U.S. Congress approved the first pensions for government
service. 

1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed. The
work was in Pennsylvania. 

1835 Charles Darwin left Santiago Chile on his way to Portillo
Pass. 

1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express. 

1874 Hawaii signed a treaty giving exclusive trading rights with
the islands to the U.S. 

1881 Barnum and Bailey's Greatest Show on Earth opened in Madison
Square Gardens. 

1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe by
telephone. 

1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered. 

1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the first
concession to access Baghdad by rail. 

1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders. 

1909 Einar Dessau of Denmark used a short wave transmitter to
become the first person to broadcast as a "ham" operator. 

1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona. It
was the largest dam in the U.S. at the time. 

1911 North Dakota enacted a hail insurance law. 

1913 Greek King George I was killed by an assassin. Constantine I
succeeded him. 

1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack at Lake
Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the Germans lost
20,000. 

1917 The Germans sank the U.S. ships, City of Memphis, Vigilante
and the Illinois, without any warning. 

1920 Greece adopted the Gregorian calendar. 

1921 Poland was enlarged with the second Peace of Riga. 

1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow China. Over
1,000 people were killed. 

1922 Mohandas K. Gandhi was sentenced to six years in prison for
civil disobedience in India. He served only 2 years of the
sentence. 

1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver. 

1937 More than 400 people, mostly children, were killed in a gas
explosion at a school in New London, TX. 

1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil properties on
its soil. 

1938 New York first required serological blood tests of pregnant
women. 

1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini held a meeting at the
Brenner Pass. The Italian dictator agreed to join in Germany's
war against France and Britain during the meeting. 

1942 The third military draft began in the U.S. because of World
War II. 

1943 The Reich called off its offensive in Caucasus. 

1943 American forces took Gafsa in Tunisia. 

1944 The Russians reached the Rumanian border in the Balkans
during World War II. 

1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin. 

1945 Maurice "Rocket" Richard became the first National Hockey
League (NHL) player to score 50 goals. 

1949 The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was ratified. 

1950 Nationalist troops landed on the mainland of China and
capture Communist held Sungmen. 

1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were fitted
for a cataract patient. 

1953 An earthquake hit West Turkey killing 250 people. 

1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478. It became the first
motion picture studio to be owned by an individual. The person
was Howard Hughes. 

1959 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Hawaii statehood bill. 

1962 French and Algerian rebels agreed to a truce. 

1963 France performed an underground nuclear test at Ecker
Algeria. 

1963 The U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Miranda decision
concerning legal council for defendants. 

1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to spacewalk
when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in orbit around
the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for about 20 minutes. 

1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1. 

1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a gold
reserve. 

1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. It was the
'secret' bombing of Cambodia. 

1970 The U.S. Postal Service experienced the first postal strike.


1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese soldiers
out of Laos. 

1971 A landslide in Lake Yanahuani, Chungar Peru, killed 200. 

1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their five-
month embargo against the United States, Europe and Japan. 

1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of Vietnam to
Hanoi. 

1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq. 

1977 Vietnam turned over an MIA to a U.S. delegation. 

1979 Iranian authorities detained American feminist Kate Millett.
The next day she was deported. 

1980 A Vostok rocket exploded on the launch pad killing 50. 

1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons tested
in Texas in 1966. 

1986 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Prince Andrew
to Sarah Ferguson. 

1986 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that a clear,
polyester thread was to be woven into bills in an effort to
thwart counterfeiters. 

1987 The U.S. performed nuclear tests at a Nevada test site. 

1990 Thirteen paintings were stolen from the Isabella Stewart
Gardner Museum in Boston. The value was $100 million making it
the largest art robbery in history. 

1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid of
Cheops in Egypt. 

1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany. 

1990 In Tampa, FL, a little league player was killed after being
hit with a pitch. 

1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison for tax
evasion. 

1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms that
would give legal equality to blacks. 

1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy. 

1997 A Russian AN-24 crashed killing 50 people. 

2003 China's new president, Hu Jintao, announced that his country
must deepen reforms and raise living standards of workers and
farmers.

2019  smiled.


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Well, 
, that's all for today.



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