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Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, February 24

Thank you, Nancy!
Thank you, James!!


___________________________________________________
If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!
___________________________________________________

Blood Alcohol Record Of "Highly
Intoxicated" Oregon Motorist

___________________________________________________
Today, February 24 in
1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the
U.S. for a naval base.
____________________________________________________
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he
always declares that it is his duty.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class
of enemy.
--- Spike Milligan
____________________________________________________

On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her
van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told
the children that it was St. Francis' Church.

"It must be a franchise," her eight-year-old son said.
"We've got one of those in our town too."

____________________________________________________

A faithful couple got the bad news from their doctor.  They
couldn't have any children.  On the way home from the
Doctor they were led to drop by to see their pastor to ask
for prayer.

The Pastor ran an auto repair shop on the side, so they
dropped by the shop.  After they explained the situation,
the pastor was led to pray for them on the spot.  He looked
around, grabbed a can of three-in-one oil and quickly
blessed it to anoint them.

Sure enough about 9 months later they had triplets.  The
couple once again showed up at the pastor's study and as
soon as the woman saw the pastor she ran up to him, threw
her arms around him and gave him the biggest hug.

"What was that all about"?  He asked.

She replied "I'm just glad you used three-in-one oil and
not WD-40."
____________________________________________________



©

___________________________________________________

She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the
cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said:
"Get your own dope."
How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient.

Then I noticed the rest of her message:
"Buy a politician."
__________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Nathan Danzuka,
28,
Madras,
Oregon,
USA

Blood Alcohol Record Of "Highly
Intoxicated" Oregon Motorist

Police today identified the DUI suspect as Nathan Danzuka,
28. Danzuka, pictured below, was arrested last year for DUI
and reckless endangering, according to jail records.

In what appears to be a new record for extreme DUI, a
motorist’s blood alcohol content was measured at .77--more
than nine times the legal limit--after he crashed his car
following a short police chase Friday afternoon, Oregon
cops report.

According to investigators, the driver--who has not been
named pending the filing of criminal charges--was involved
in a hit-and-run in Madras, a city 125 miles southeast of
Portland.

Upon locating the suspect vehicle, a Ford Explorer, cops
sought to pull over the driver, but he sped away. A short
chase ended when the man, who cops described as “HIGHLY
intoxicated,” lost control of his car and crashed into a
concrete barrier.

The driver was subsequently transported to a local hospital
for a medical evaluation. A blood sample taken from the
suspect was tested and showed his blood alcohol level was
.778. The state’s legal limit is .08.

Officers observed “several alcoholic beverage containers
within the vehicle,” according to the Warm Springs Police
Department.

The motorist, who is facing multiple criminal charges, was
driving on a suspended license due to a prior DUI
conviction.

Previously, the highest BACs reported in these pages were
the .72 recorded by an Oregon woman in 2007 and the .708
recorded by a South Dakota woman in 2009.



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Brent Re: Wide weather service Dear Webby, have you got any links to weather sites that don't just show my local area? Thanks Brent Dear Brent Here are some good ones: Weather Underground WxUSA AccuWeather NASA's Weather And then there is also still the Farmer's Almanach: Farmer's Almanach Weather Have FUN! DearWebby
Q: How did Jennifer get her ears pierced ? A: Answering the stapler.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!

_____________________________________________

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was
waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through
the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all
around were her parents and all the other people she had
loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello -
How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is
such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told  her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed
her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked

her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While
the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband
arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you
been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her
husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who
took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the
multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I
lived in and bought a huge mansion. And, my wife and I
traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in
Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my
head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakia."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry ...
there'll be Hell to pay later.
____________________________________________

>From Myrna
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the
refrigerator  are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any
exercise at all.
____________________________________________

I'm a counsellor who helps coordinate support groups for
visually-impaired adults.


Many participants have a condition known as macular
degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to
distinguish facial features.

I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing
myself.

Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me
well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me,
I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman
and Robert Redford."

Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!"

____________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ <(") Go to TOP


Today February 24 in
1803 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled itself to be the final
interpreter of all constitutional issues.

1835 "Siwinowe Kesibwi" (The Shawnee Sun) was issued as the
first Indian language monthly publication in the U.S.

1839 Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam
shovel.

1857 The first shipment of perforated postage stamps was
received by the U.S. Government.

1900 New York City Mayor Van Wyck signed the contract to
begin work on New York's first rapid transit tunnel. The
tunnel would link Manhattan and Brooklyn.

1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the
U.S. for a naval base.

1925 A thermit bomb was used for the first time. It was
used to break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged the
St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY.

1938 The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was
the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially.

1942 The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12-gauge
shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort.

1942 The Voice of America (VOA) aired for the first time.

1945 During World War II, the Philippine capital of
Manilla, was liberated by U.S. soldiers.

1946 Juan Peron was elected president of Argentina.

1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred
people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without
an adult guardian.

1980 NBC premiered the TV movie "Harper Valley P.T.A."

1981 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of
Britain's Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer.

1983 A U.S.congressional commission released a report that
condemned the internment of Japanese-Americans during World
War II.

1987 An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large
Magellanic Cloud galaxy.

1988 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to
Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler"
magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for parody
and satire.

1989 Iran’s Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman
Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses". A
bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put on
Rushidie's head.

1989 A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing
9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand.

1994 In Los Angeles, Garrett Morris was shot during a
robbery attempt. He eventually recovered from his injury.

1997 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration named six brands
of birth control as safe and effective "morning-after"
pills for preventing pregnancy.

1999 In southeast China, a domestic airliner crashed
killing all 64 passengers.

2007 The Virginia General Assembly passed a resolution
expressing "profound regret" for the state's role in
slavery.

2008 Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president. His
brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years.

2021  smiled.
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