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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 23

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Iowa man busted after receiving 10 pounds of marijuana 
in the mail
Details at  Boneheads
Today, March 23 in
1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, 
"give me liberty, or give me death!" 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them. --- Dame Rose Macaulay (1881 - 1958) I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. --- Lech Walesa (1943 - ) Women demand their men to be reliable and predictable, mostly so that they can accuse them of being boring. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for...." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked a certain senator if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. The senator replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles A. Simpson, 25, Davenport, Iowa Man busted after receiving 10 pounds of marijuana in the mail A 25-year-old Davenport man is facing charges of peddling marijuana after his brother mailed him 10 pounds of the drug to sell locally, Davenport police said. The marijuana was mailed through the U.S. Postal Service. Postal inspectors teamed with Davenport police on the case. Charles A. Simpson, of 2216 Grand Ave., is charged with one count each of possession with the intent to deliver less than 50 kilograms of marijuana, conspiracy to possess and deliver less than 50 kilograms of marijuana, and failure to affix an Iowa drug tax stamp. Naughty! Each of the charges is a Class D felony under Iowa law that carries a prison sentence of up to five years. According to the arrest affidavit filed by a member of the Davenport Police Departmentís Tactical Operations Bureau, Devin Simpson mailed 10 pounds of marijuana through the U.S. Postal Service to his brother, Charles Simpson. The deal was that Charles Simpson would sell the marijuana to multiple customers. For every pound of marijuana Charles Simpson sold Devin Simpson would reward him with $100 and free marijuana. Since the dope was not discovered where it was sent, most likely Charles had mentioned the expected arrival within earshot of a narc. Charles Simpson was arrested Monday. He was released from the Scott County Jail after posting 10 percent of a $5,000 bond through a bonding company. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Changing icons on shortcuts does not work Dear Webby This is not a major problem, just an annoyance. For some reason, I am able to change the icon on some desktop shortcuts, but not on others. I use your method for making icons and store them in an icon folder. I choose a shortcut/right click/Properties/Change Icon/choose new icon from the icon folder/OK/Apply. The new icon shows in the "Change Icon" window. OK then Apply. The icon should change, but it remains the same on the desktop shortcut. I don't know why it works only sometimes. Any ideas? Thanks. Bill /i> Dear Bill You are doing it the right way. That should definitely work with shortcuts. Are your icons 64 x 64, saved as .bmp and then, after closing the bmp file, renaming the icon with the file explorer to .ico ? If it is not .ico, then Windows usually plays stupid. Check that and tell me if that makes a difference. Microsoft claims it is because of Backward Compatibility, but that is total BS. Nobody is using Windows 3 anymore. Windows went graphical with Windows95. Try that and let me know if it helped. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby Thanks again for your help. I had failed to reduce the size to 64 X 64 pixels. That was my mistake. It now works! All the best. Bill /i>
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Save Eggshells for Planting Tomatoes By Litter Gitter [204 Posts, 663 Comments] To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. For 2 dozen tomato plants, I use 2 gallons of crushed egg shells. It takes me a year to save up that many. Whenever I use eggs, I rinse the sticky stuff out of the shells and set them on a paper towel to drain. After they dry, they are ready to crush and add to the bag. I usually let them build up in the bag and then put them in a bowl and crush with my hands and fingers. (This also buffs my rough skin and makes it smooth.) I store the bag in the pantry until spring planting time. If you want to try this, you need to start saving your egg shells. In the 50's, when having the reddest and brightest Geraniums in the outside window boxes was of vital importance in the village, Grandma used to send me around the neighborhood collecting egg shells. I was of course also tasked with scooping "road apples" donated by the still fairly frequent horses. She ground the egg shells with the big cast iron hand crank grinder and then the egg shells and the road apples were put into a barrel and "steeped" until spring. That was her secret fertilizer for her prize winning Geraniums.
Cleaning the St. Louis Arch
____________________________________________________ Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just absolutely had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he wasn't felling well and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why would you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?" ___________________________________________________
Caves of art in New Mexico.
Murphy came home drunk as a skunk for the third night in a row. Judi, his wife, dragged him to the window and pointed out to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. "Do you see how big it is?" she thundered. "They can always make it faster than you can drink it!" "Maybe so, [hic]," he burped, "but I've got 'em working nights!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on March 23
1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 

1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
took place. 

1490 The first dated edition of Maimonides "Mishna Torah"
was published. 

1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me
liberty, or give me death!" 

1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 

1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast,
and began their return journey to the east. 

1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 

1835 Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 

1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 

1839 The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect]
occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 

1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 

1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence from Austria. 

1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger
elevator in a public building. It was at the corner of
Broome Street and Broadway in New York City. 

1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 

1861 London's first tramcars began operations. 

1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill
increased flour production by 70 percent. 

1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the
first Boer war. 

1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white

1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now
famous toast. 

1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British
concentration camps in South Africa. 

1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from
9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 

1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 

1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 

1909 Theodore Roosevelt began an African safari sponsored by
the Smithsonian Institution and National Geographic

1912 The Dixie Cup was invented. 

1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to
French President Poincare. 

1917 In the Midwest U.S., four tornadoes kill 211 people
over a four day period. 

1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence. 

1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he
safely jumped from 24,400 feet. 

1922 The first airplane landed at the U.S. Capitol in
Washington, DC. 

1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established
workers' right to strike. 

1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act
effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative

1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the
Philippines in 1945. 

1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 

1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands. 

1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began
evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to
concentration camps. 

1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a
surprise attack in Korea. 

1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was
still within the British Commonwealth. 

1956 Sudan became independent. 

1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 

1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from
Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W.
Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 

1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100
people were killed. 

1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War
the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement and
started a movement to backstab the war effort. 

1970 Mafia "Boss" Carlo Gambino was arrested for plotting to
steal $3 million. 

1972 The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam
being held in Paris. 

1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping
35 cars. 

1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left
Panama for Egypt. 

1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a
crime for men but not women. 

1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of
technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became
known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 

1983 Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent
artificial heart. 

1989 A 1,000-foot diameter asteroid missed Earth by 500,000

1989 Joel Steinberg was sentenced to 25 years for killing
his adopted daughter. 

1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin
Fleischman, announced that they had created nuclear fusion
in a test tube at room temperature. It was a hoax.

1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was
ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay
$50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill. 

1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been
registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 

1994 Luis Donaldo Colosio, Mexico's leading presidential
candidate, was assassinated in Tijuana. Mario Aburto
Martinez was arrested at the scene and confessed to the

1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey
League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 

1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential

1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish
foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that term limits for state
lawmakers were constitutional. 

1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 

1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy

1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase
the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The
merger created the largest English-language book-publishing
company in the world. 

1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal
approval for air strikes against Serbian targets. 

2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station was dumped into the
South Pacific after its 15-years of use.

2017  smiled.
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