Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, December 10
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Today, December 10 in
1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the
U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a
National Airlines Boeing 707.
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Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida Man Poured Cup Of Semen
On Panera Customer
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
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My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off
anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing.
--- Jessica Alba
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do,
and that is to contradict other philosophers.
--- William James
_______________________________________________
It is sometimes easy to forget how easily email
technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally,
with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the man who left the snow-filled
streets of Chicago, for a vacation in Florida. His
wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet
him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he
decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to
find the scrap of paper on which he had written her
e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from
memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was
directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose
husband had passed away only the day before. When the
grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look
at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to
the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw
this note on her computer screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your
arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
________________________________________________`
Resurrected Ex came back as an ass?
____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Patrick Bruce,
28,
Talahasse,
Floriduh
Florida Man Poured Cup Of Semen
On Panera Customer
The victim screamed when she realized the liquid substance in
the cup wasn't soda.
A Florida man is facing charges after police said he dumped a
foam cup containing semen over a woman at Panera.
Tallahassee Police arrested 28-year-old Patrick Bruce on
Tuesday and charged him with two counts of battery, indecent
exposure and commission of a lewd and lascivious act.
Police said on Sept. 12, Bruce allegedly entered the restaurant
and stared at two women who were dining and doing homework.
He then moved to a table close to the women while continuing to
stare at them, the Tallahassee Democrat reports.
The women told police they saw Bruce leave the restaurant and
return with a foam fountain drink cup.
Bruce then allegedly went into the Panera bathroom. When he
came out, he allegedly poured the contents of the cup on one of
the women, saying Here you go, according to WPEC-TV.
The woman screamed when she realized the liquid substance in
the cup wasn't soda, police said.
The victims told police Bruce apologized before driving away.
Panera employees told police that Bruce dropped his cellphone
at the restaurant.
When they looked through it, they say they found a video of the
suspect masturbating into a cup matching the one he held during
the alleged incident, according to WTXL.
The phone was turned over as evidence.
Investigators said Bruce has a history of indecent acts in
public.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits
From: Francisca
RE: Camera cable or Chip Reader ?
Dear Webby
What is better, a camera that downloads directly to the
computer, or a camera where you have to remove a chip
and copy from that into the computer. one of my friends
has one type, another friend has the other type, and of
course each claims their version is better.
What is YOUR recommendation ?
Francisca
Dear Francisca
The better cameras offer both methods, but if you have
a choice, you throw away the camera-to-computer cable.
If you are limited to downloading directly to the computer
via a very special cable and program, you are totally out
of luck if your camera's memory is full while you are on a
canoe trip and don't have the computer along.
If you have removable chips, you pop out the full chip and
push in the next one. Those memory chips are very sturdy,
and they just fit into the parking meter change pockets
that you get on some belts.
A memory chip reader is $12 - $15 and reads 8MB to 4GB
memory chips. Personally, I use mostly 2 GB chips,
and I also use them instead of floppies.
When you slide that memory chip into the reader or the
computer, you instantly have an extra harddrive. You can
then copy the pictures from the chip or even edit them
right on the chip.
Also, keep in mind that slow transfer via cable drains
the 6 Volt camera battery. It tries to charge up the 5 Volt
USB port!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court
judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one
of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the
couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind
off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed
a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.
The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally
suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy
defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters
In Washington, DC for analysis.
Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office
to learn the results of their tests. "We're not sure where
the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered
that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.'"
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A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for
the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the
job.
He decided to seek compensation for his ailment.
Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department,
he is interviewed by an assessor.
Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish
to claim compensation.
Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick.
Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to
protect you from radiation poisoning?
Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job.
Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive?
Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined.
Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept?
Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead.
Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead
suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is
kept in a lead container.
Trucker: Yeah, that's right. All lead.
Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him
for radiation poisoning.
Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning.
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Fix Leaky Toilets
A leaky toilet can waste 50 gallons or more per day. To test to
see your toilet is leaking, put drops of food coloring into
the
toilet tank. Wait 15 minutes. If color has made it's way to
the bowl, you have a leak. Try replacing the flush valve in
the tank to correct the problem.
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then
you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun
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Oldest still street legal car is 125 years old |
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A wise, old Indian chief was famous for predicting what
the weather would do. A group of people went up to the
chief and asked him, "What will the weather be like
tomorrow?"
The chief replied, "Much rain. Very wet."
The next day, it did rain and it was very wet. Some
more people went up to the chief and asked,
"What will the weather be like tomorrow?"
"Much snow. Very cold."
Sure enough, it snowed and it was very cold.
People were so impressed with this, they asked him
another time. Chief," they asked, "what will the
weather do tomorrow?"
The chief replied, "I dunno. I was watching wrestling
instead of the weather channel."
___________________________________________________
Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie
died, a man who lived far away called his brother and
told him, "Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and
send me the bill."
Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The
next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he
also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.
But, when the bills for $200.00 kept arriving every
month, he finally called his brother again to find out
what was going on.
"Well," said the other brother, "You said to do
something nice for Uncle Charlie......
So I rented him a tuxedo!"
___________________________________________________
Donna was driving home and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next
day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner
knew her, and remembered that she still had not paid a
bill from half a year ago, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tailpipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So Donna
went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. She blew harder, and still nothing
happened.
Her roommate, Rachel, came home and said, "What are
you doing?"
Donna told her how the repairman had instructed her to
blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents
to pop out. Rachel rolled her eyes and said,
"Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows
first!"
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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today, December 10 in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy
demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused
and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521.
1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first
pneumatic tires.
1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming
Territory.
1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the
Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain.
1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first
American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping
mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War.
1941 Japan invaded the Philippines.
1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse
were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya.
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an
investment of $7,600.
1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the
U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a
National Airlines Boeing 707.
1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the
Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the
award.
1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries
in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded.
1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace
Prize.
1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a
long-acting contraceptive implant.
1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called
"unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he
refused to resign.
1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the
repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit.
1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ,
was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber.
1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the
Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of
healing the Middle East.
1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of
Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the
former Yugoslavia.
1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new
democratic constitution, completing the country's transition
from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy.
1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international
space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface.
1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses
that rejected Israel's existence.
1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for
China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was
charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab.
Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted
data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped.
2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries,
opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction
projects. The ban did not prevent companies from winning
subcontracts.
2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first
elected female president.
2019 smiled.
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Well,
, that's all for today.

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