Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, April 21

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Today, April 21 in
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome.
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: 
Iowa woman brought meth to jail when 
turning herself in for outstanding warrants

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The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know
you'll grow out of it.
--- Doris Day (1924 - )

Ability is what you're capable of doing. 
Motivation determines what you do. 
Attitude determines how well you do it.
 -- Lou Holtz
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What Is Easter?
Three cheerleaders died in an accident trying to jump the Grand 
Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells

them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one 
simple religious question.
The question posed by St. Peter is - "What is Easter"?

The first cheerleader replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the
holiday
in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are
thankful." 

"Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to 
the other place!" replies St.Peter.

Then he turns to the second cheerleader, and asks her the same 
question - "What is Easter?"

The second cheerleader replies, "Easter is the holiday in
December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and
celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second cheerleader, bangs his head on the

pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have
to 
join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in
Heaven.

He then peers over his glasses at the third cheerleader and
asks,

"Do YOU know what Easter is?"

The third cheerleader smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in
the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish 
celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at

the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over 
to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him 
to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a 
crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his 
hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed
off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

Then the third cheerleader continues ...
"Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come 
out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks 
of hockey!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Debra Ann Sly,
56,
Des Moines,
Iowa

Iowa woman brought meth to jail when 
turning herself in for outstanding warrants
 
A Polk County sheriff's deputy arrested a Des Moines woman last
week for bringing drugs into a jail.

A bag of methamphetamine fell out of the pants Debra Ann Sly,
56, was wearing when she turned herself into the Polk County
Jail for outstanding warrants last week, earning her a new
charge, according to documents on Iowa Courts Online.

Sly, of the 800 block of 18th Street in Des Moines, reported to
the jail last week because a warrant has been issued for her
arrest March 27. She'd failed to appear for a disposition bond
hearing after violating a no-contact order, court records show.

Sly apparently thought she'd do the right thing and turn herself
in, but it ended up going horribly wrong, sheriff's deputies
allege.

"During the intake process, a small clear plastic baggy
containing a white crystalline substance fell out of her pants
onto the booking room floor," according to a criminal complaint
filed by a Polk County sheriff's deputy. "The approximate weight
of the substance was .4 grams, and the substance field-tested
positive for methamphetamine."

Sly was charged with possession of a controlled substance, a
serious misdemeanor, for the mishap. Her attorney, Jason
Calstrom, declined to comment 

Her violation of a no-contact order stemmed from an assault at
the apartment building she lived in. Sly pleaded guilty to
third-degree harassment and disorderly conduct in August 2018
after being charged with two counts of assault while displaying
a deadly weapon, court records show.

After requesting maintenance personnel come work on her
apartment, court records show Sly became angry with one of the
workers who showed up, grabbing a knife and telling the woman,
"You aren't entering my property." The employees left and called
police, and Sly was arrested.

Since then, she has twice been found guilty of defying that no-
contact order. The second offense came in February, when Sly
told the woman that she would "stomp her face," according to
court documents.

A disposition hearing for that second violation was scheduled
for March 27. When Sly didn't show, a warrant was issued for her
arrest. She was caught with the meth while turning herself in
for that charge. Sly will learn her punishment for disobeying
the order Wednesday, court records show.

Sly will be arraigned on the drug charge May 21.




From: Rose
Re: IE Script Error

Dear DearWebby
How do I get rid of the "Internet Explorer Script Error"
that keeps popping up on my screen?
 
It's a nuisance!!!
 Thank you for all the help you've given before.  What would 
 we do without you?
 Rose

Dear Rose
Just go into Tools, Internet Options, Advanced,
and turn Script Debugging and Show Errors off.

That debugging is intended for the designers of those pages,
and they obviously didn't check for errors.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Hair cut
Women's version:

Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me
        the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too
        fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my
        hair cut like that, but I think my face is too
        wide. I'm pretty much tuck with this stuff I
        think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable,
        and you could easily get one of those layer
        cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
        actually going to do that except that I was
        afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
        neck! Anything to take attention away from this
        two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love
        to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so
        well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how
        short they are? If I had your shoulders I could
        get clothes to fit me so much easier.........

Men's version:

Man1: Got your ears lowered?
Man2: Yeah. That time of the year.



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Grampa was telling his youngest grandson abuot his terrifying 
experience with cannibals.
"There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by 
twenty hungry cannibals."

His grandson, Oleander, said, "But last time you told me, 
there were only ten hungry cannibals."

To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then 
to know the whole horrible truth!"

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Find Out What Your Wear
A good way to find out what you wear is to take all the hangers
and turn them around so they are facing the wrong way.  As you
wear, wash and return clothing back to the closet, hang the
clothing the correct way.  After a month or two, any clothing
still facing the wrong direction should probably be stored or
donated.
Thriftyfun.com


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This is a story and a video about an amazing woman who was born in the wilds of Siberia and lived there all her life, most of it by herself.

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A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for 
Women gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the 
subject in which the doctor was most at ease. 
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you 
detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears 
completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question 
which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, 
that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips 
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, 
"You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? 
I must confess I don't know much about history."

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Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.   

The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the   
earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."   

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks,   
"Are they an emerging intelligence?"   

The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them   
aimed at themselves."   

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the
morning service. "I missed you at service this morning," the
pastor says.

"Well, Reverend", the farmer says, "I had some hay to put up
before it rained. I figured it was better to sit on a dry bale
of 
hay thinking about God, than to sit in church thinking about 
hay getting ruined."

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Today April 21 in
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome. 

43 BC Marcus Antonius was defeated by Octavian near Modena,
Italy. 

1526 Mongol Emperor Babur annihilated the Indian Army of Ibrahim
Lodi. 

1649 The Maryland Toleration Act was passed, allowing all
freedom of worship. 

1689 William III and Mary II were crowned joint king and queen
of England, Scotland and Ireland. 

1836 General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of
San Jacinto. This battle decided the independence of Texas. 

1856 The Mississippi River was crossed by a rail train for the
first time (between Davenport, IA, and Rock Island, IL). 

1862 The U.S. Congress established the U.S. Mint in Denver, CO. 

1892 The first Buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park. 

1895 Woodville Latham and his sons demonstrated their
Panopticon. It was the first movie projector developed in the
United States. 

1898 The Spanish-American War began. 

1914 U.S. Marines occupied Vera Cruz, Mexico. The troops stayed
for six months. 

1916 Bill Carlisle, the infamous 'last train robber,' robbed a
train in Hanna, WY. 

1918 German fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, "The Red Baron,"
was shot down and killed during World War I. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt announced that several
Doolittle pilots had been executed by the Japanese. 

1959 Alf Dean caught a 16-foot, 10-inch white shark that weighed
2,664 pounds. At the time it was the largest catch with a rod
and reel. 

1960 Brasilia became the capital of Brazil. 

1961 The French army revolted in Algeria. 

1967 Svetlana Alliluyeva (Svetlana Stalina) defected in New York
City. She was the daughter of Joseph Stalin. 

1967 In Athens, Army colonels took over the government and
installed Constantine Kollias as premier. 

1972 Apollo 16 astronauts John Young and Charles Duke explored
the surface of the moon. 

1975 South Vietnam president, Nguyen Van Thieu, resigned,
condemning the United States. 

1984 In France, it was announced that doctors had found virus
believed to cause AIDS. 

1985 Manuel Ortega proposed a cease-fire for Nicaragua. 

1992 Robert Alton Harris became the first person executed by the
state of California in 25 years. He was put to death for the
1978 murder of two teen-age boys. 

1994 Jackie Parker became the first woman to qualify to fly an
F-16 combat plane. 

1998 Astronomers announced in Washington that they had
discovered possible signs of a new family of planets orbiting a
star 220 light-years away. 

2000 In Sinking Spring, PA, a man chased his estranged
girlfriend through town and then forced her car into the path of
an oncoming train. The woman and her 3 passengers were killed. 

2000 North Carolina researchers announced that the heart of a 66
million-year-old dinosaur was more like a mammal or bird than
that of a reptile. 

2000 The 1998 Children's Online Privacy Protection Act went into
effect. 

2002 In the city of General Santos, 14 people were killed and 69
were injured in a bomb attack on a department store. The attack
was blamed on Muslim extremists. 

2003 North and South Korea agreed to hold Cabinet-level talks
the following week. 

2009 UNESCO launched The World Digital Library. The World
Digital Library (WDL) is an international digital library
operated by UNESCO and the United States Library of Congress. 

2019  smiled.


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