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Good Morning,  !
Thursday,  May 15, 2008

Tomorrow is Friday, 
time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!



The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - 
loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
-– Victor Hugo



Thanks to Ross for this story:
"Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, ..."
when little Jason interrupted, "My mommy looked back once, 
while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, 
"and she turned into a telephone pole!"


YOUR ad could be here!


A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 
"We have been learning how powerful kings and 
queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. 
Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"



Thanks to Joe for this picture:



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Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports:
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Kelly DeBrocky, of Mahopac, N.Y.,

Is she the type they call "Sheet-fer-brains" ?
May 10, 2008 - Norwalk, Connecticut - AP

A New York woman has filed a $100 claim against Norwalk saying 
a family outing to the Maritime Aquarium was ruined by dog feces. 
The woman claims her child's shoes, along with the entire outing, 
were ruined when her 1-year-old stepped in dog feces outside the 
Maritime Garage.

City attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said the official response is that her 
claim is denied and in his words, "poop happens."

Kelly DeBrocky, of Mahopac, N.Y., wants the city to reimburse her 
for $54 she spent replacing her toddler's ruined shoes and the 
expenses for parking and aquarium admission on April 5.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1120ap_odd_dog_dung_claim.html?source=mypi



The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always 
paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his 
sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant 
of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good 
sermon."  
"How come He never does?" she asked.



From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Carol
Re: SP3


Dear Webby,
I'm running XP; can't pay me enough to run Vista!
I'm not one to download new special packs right away; 
I like to have them take the bugs out first.  May I have 
your opinion of the new service pack 3?
 
Thanks, you've taught me a lot by reading your Q&A; 
and you've answered many question to me as well.
Carol

Dear Carol
Skip SP3.
There are no new goodies in it anyway, just new bugs.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 
"So your mother says your prayers for you each night? 
That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"


Deeli's Kudos

May 12, 2008 - Dallas, Texas - AP 

Jenny, recognized as the world's oldest living gorilla in captivity, 
celebrated her 55th birthday Thursday with a four-layer frozen 
fruit cake and banana leaf wrapped treats at her wooded 
home in the Dallas Zoo. 

The International Species Information System, which maintains 
records on animals at 700 institutions around the world, said 
Jenny is the oldest gorilla in its database. 

Gorillas in the wild normally would live to age 30 or 35. Health 
care and protection from predators has extended the lifespan 
in zoos. 

Of the roughly 360 gorillas in North American zoos, only four 
are over the age of 50. 

Jenny's keepers describe her as very sweet though a little 
bossy. Born in the wild of western central Africa in 1953, the 
exact date of her birth is unknown. Jenny lived with a family 
on the Cape Verde islands before the Fort Worth Zoo acquired 
her in 1957. 

http://www.happynews.com/news/592008/gorilla-celebrates-55th-birthday-frozen-cake.htm



A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade
6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started
writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle
from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you
for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realising she had
forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top
of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from
another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so
funny Billy?"

"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the
punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three
weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns
around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there
is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly
turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."



The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips
are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/
Email to the Express Empress at 080511@fire-cat.com,
and she will post it into the blog for you.
 .
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Chopsticks as Knitting Needles
In a pinch, you can use bamboo chopsticks as knitting needles.
Just sharpen the tips of the chopsticks in a pencil sharpener
then dull them a little so they aren't too sharp.  Ask for extras
the next time you get take out.

Visit ThriftyFun For More Craft Tips
By Clicking Here
http://www.thriftyfun.com/Craft%20Tips_357.html

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com 

Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended !
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:




At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's
edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in,
please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the
boat didn't return. "Boat number 99," he again hollered,
"return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you
overtime."

"Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only
have 75 boats. There is no number 99."

The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega-
phone: "Boat number 66," he yelled. "Are you having trouble
out there?"
 

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:
Photo Essays
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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com



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