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Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, June 18
Today, June 18 in
1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench.
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: 75 burglared pool floats for sex _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Darlene for this story: Two Newfies look at a Sears' Catalogue and admire the models. One says to the other: "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?" The second replies. "Yes, they are darn beautiful! And look at the price!" The first says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they're not very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one." The second smiles and claps him on the back, "Good idea, order one and if she is as beautiful as in the catalogue, I'll get one too." Three weeks later, the Newfie asks his chum "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears' catalogue?" The second replies, "No. But it shouldn't be long now.... I got her underwear yesterday!" ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Monnin, 35, Brevard, Floriduh 75 burglared pool floats for sex
A creepy fetishist is behind bars in connection with a months- long robbery spree that netted dozens of pool floats that the suspect said he sexually gratifies himself with, according to police reports. Christopher Monnin, a 35-year-old ex-con, reportedly told cops that he opted for the pool floats instead of raping women. Monnin, who has served time for burglary, was arrested around 1:30 AM Thursday after being stopped as a suspicious person by a Palm Bay Police Department officer. Monnin, who was riding his bicycle at the time, was carrying a white garbage bag full of what he identified as deflated pool floats, the cop reported. Palm Bay, where Monnin lives, has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen or otherwise enters a victim's back pool area and steals only pool floats, according to the report. During the past seven months, police have received about 13 reports about pool float burglaries. During questioning, Monnin reportedly confessed to burglarizing several residences and swiping many floats. Monnin added that he stored the stolen goods inside a vacant house across the street from his residence. Monnin accompanied police to the home, where investigators found an estimated 75 pool floats, including a lounge chair with cup holders, a float shaped like a piece of bacon, a duck float, and a watermelon float. Monnin also allegedly swiped a Shaquille O'Neal-branded Shaq inflatable lounger. Monnin, whose home does not have a pool, reportedly stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the floats and does this instead of raping women. Pictured above, Monnin is being held in the Brevard County jail on five felony burglary charges and five misdemeanor theft counts. His bond has been set at $78,500. Monnin's rap sheet includes multiple prior convictions for burglary, theft, and violating probation.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Vic Re: SBCGLOBAL problems FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS YOUR LETTER ARRIVES AS ALWAYS BUT IS TOTALLY BLANK EXCEPT FOR THE HEADINGS. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED BEFORE-----------------ANY IDEAS? Dear Vic It's too bad you don't read the Tech Support Pits. I have long lost track of how many times I have mentioned that SBCGLOBAL treats their victims as if they were a bunch of silly yahoos, who don't deserve proper mail. To fool them, you have to hit REPLY, or FORWARD, as if you were going to show somebody how bad SBCGLOBAL is. THEN all of a sudden you can see the parts that they had been hiding from you. Another way around the tricks of the incompetent bozos at the moron farm is to use FireFox GoogleChrome Opera Maxton Safari as your browser. The bozos mess up only Yahoo Mail for Internet Explorer. They have not figured out yet how to mess up the other browsers. So, to read HTML newsletters, either hit REPLY, or use a different browser. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?" When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."
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All my husband wanted was to pay for some batteries, but none of the clerks in the electronics store seemed interested in helping him. "I've got an idea," I said, and pulled a tape measure out of my purse. I stepped over to one of the giant flat-screen TVs and started to measure it. Faster than you can say high definition, a young man came running over. "May I help you?" he asked breathlessly. "Yes," I said. "I'd like to buy these batteries." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Fix Dings Before They Become Cracks You can save yourself from having to replace your car windshield down the road by getting dings repaired in a timely matter. If you have comprehensive auto insurance, these repairs may be covered and they often waive your deductible so the repair is essentially free. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________
Magic moments.
___________________________________________________ I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in maine when a vacationing southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'seven young blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "sauvignon blanc." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: (Yeah, we got elections in Canada too, just shorter campaign periods) A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again. When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads. The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV. When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem. The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party, who laid me on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your sister whipped my face with celery tops duck-taped to her boobs??? She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.' ___________________________________________________

Today, June 18 in
1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 

1429 French forces defeated the English at the battle of Patay.
The English had been retreating after the siege of Orleans. 

1621 The first duel in America took place in the Plymouth Colony
in Massachusetts. 

1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 

1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. Revolutionary

1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great
Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 

1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an
international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon
abdicated on June 22. 

1817 London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed by
John Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 

1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 

1873 Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote for a
U.S. President. She never paid her fine.

1898 Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 

1915 During World War I, the second battle of Artois ended. 

1918 Allied forces on the Western Front began their largest
attack against the German army. (World War I) 

1927 The U.S. Post Office offered a special 10-cent postage stamp
for sale. The stamp was of Charles Lindbergh's "Spirit of St.

1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the
Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from Newfoundland to

1942 The U.S. Navy commissioned its first black officer, Harvard
University medical student Bernard Whitfield Robinson. 

1948 The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its
International Declaration of Human Rights. 

1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign against
the French in Indochina. 

1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General Neguib as
its first president. 

1959 A Federal Court annulled the Arkansas law allowing school
closings to prevent integration. 

1959 The first telecast received from England was broadcast in
the U.S. over NBC-TV. 

1966 Samuel Nabrit became the first African American to serve on
the Atomic Energy Commission. 

1982 The U.S. Senate approved the renewal of the 1965 Voting
Rights Act for an additional twenty-five years.

1983 Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space
aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 

1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web search
engine company Infoseek Corp. 

1999 Walt Disney's "Tarzan" opened. 

2000 In Algiers, Algeria, the foreign ministers of Ethiopia and
Eritrea signed a preliminary cease-fire accord and agreed to work
toward a permanent settlement of their two-year border war. 

2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS probes
to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission since Lunar
Prospector in 1998. 

2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, judicial
affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom of Denmark.
Greenlandic became the official language. 

2019  smiled.
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