Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, August 19

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Today, August 19 in 
1960 Two dogs were launched in a satellite into Earth's 
orbit by the Soviet Union and returned safely.
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: 
Chicago Woman fires pink gun at car leaving 
funeral repast, kills another guest
                     
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A month in the laboratory can often save 
an hour in the library.
--- Frank Westheimer
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> from John 
Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm
of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they
hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife
said.

"Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out.

Her reply left me speechless. "I didn't know bugs could fly that
fast."

----------
I hit one of those Million Mating Mosquito balls one time, when I
was
on my bike on he way to work at the Copper mine. I was going just
a tad faster than that, and it was like hitting a black curtain.
Zero visibility instantly.
I managed to stop safely, just barely.
My face shield was covered completely with the remains of
countless dead mosquitoes. Had to finish the trip with the shield
up.

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Thanks for your votes!
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Reported by the Bausell Sailor: 



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Matarimo Haupe,
35,
Chicago,
Illinois

Chicago Woman fires pink gun at car leaving 
funeral repast, kills another guest

A week ago, Matarimo Haupe was living in Springfield and working
her way through nursing school.

The 35-year-old mother had never been arrested before. Now she's
charged with killing a man.

Her hair in long braids and wearing a gray hoodie and black pants,
Houpe sobbed when she appeared for a hearing Friday at the
Leighton Criminal Court Building.

Cook County prosecutors have accused Houpe of firing two shots
outside a funeral repast Wednesday evening in Washington Park.
Both missed their target, but one struck 30-year-old Andrew Owens
as he stood at a nearby corner.

Owens was rushed to University of Chicago Medical Center with a
gunshot wound to his face, but he was pronounced dead less than 24
hours later, Chicago police and the Cook County medical examiner's
office said.

Houpe was charged with first-degree murder.

Prosecutors said Houpe and Owens were attending the same repast
when Houpe got into an argument with the father of her child.

Houpe followed the man as he got into a car and began to drive
away, then turned to her sister and demanded,  Mickey, give me my
s---,  prosecutors said.

Houpe's sister allegedly handed her a pink CPX-1 handgun
manufactured by SCCY Firearms, which calls itself the  King of
Concealed Carry  on its website. Police said Friday that Houpe had
a valid FOID card and a license to carry a concealed gun.

Prosecutors said the car had already made a left turn and was gone
by the time Houpe raised the weapon, extended her arm and pulled
the trigger twice. Two 9-mm shell casings fell to the ground.

Owens, struck in his left eye, suddenly collapsed.

Officers responded moments later and found the gun near a light
post in the 6100 block of South Indiana Avenue, according to
police records.

Authorities said Houpe remained at the scene and admitted to
officers that the gun was hers and that she had fired it. Houpe
allegedly gave an additional video-recorded statement while in
custody, including that she was trying to aim at the vehicle's
tires as it drove away.

An assistant public defender for Houpe said she had a 17-year-old
son, was living in Springfield and working at a nursing home. She
was enrolled in college, where she was studying for a degree in
nursing.

Looking at Houpe in the eyes, Judge David Navarro noted she had no
previous criminal history and that she had stayed at the scene
after the shooting. But, he said, that was only part of what he
had to consider in setting her bail. Now, she was also looking at
a possible sentence of life in prison.

Bail was denied.



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: John
Re: camera manual

Dear Webby, 
Re camera manuals.
Bev may well find the print used in many 'in the box' manuals is
far too small for easy reading.  But often these manuals are
available on-line, so can either be read on-screen or printed out
at a functional size.  Far better than just guessing.

John

Dear John
Excellent point!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom could have
an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed
and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down
the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back.

At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door neighbor,
Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man
brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice
shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A man was in the hospital recovering from an operation when a nun
walked into his room.  She was there to cheer up the sick and
lame. They start talking and she asks about his life.  He talks
about his wife and his 13 children.

"My, my," says the nun. "13 children, a good and proper Catholic
family.  God is very proud of you."
                                                             ,
"I'm sorry, Sister," he says, "I am not Catholic, I'm Jewish."

"Jewish!" she exclaims. "You sex maniac, you!!" 

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Shirk Report 539

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When we go out of town overnight, we have a pet-sitter who 
watches all of the various critters Elly has accumulated.
One night the cat, Beans, escaped outside and climbed about
30 feet into a tree.

Our sitter couldn't lure the idiot cat down, so she called the 
fire department.

"Ma'am," the dispatched told her, "we don't do that any more.
The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough."

"How do you know that?" the sitter asked.

"Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?"

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Thanks to Mike for this story:
I had to take Ann to the hospital some time ago for a series
of tests.  She was unexpectedly required to stay overnight.  So
she gave me a list of things to bring from home.  One thing on
her list was "comfortable underwear."

I asked her, "How will I know which ones to pick?"

She said, "Hold 'em up and imagine them on me.  If you smile,
put them back."

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>From Irene
 was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up 
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying
outside and is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, 
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly," everyone knows this stuff. Um, it's
on the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a

Mommy.

"Oh."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information.
"I get it!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you have to be the
Daddy."

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.


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Today, August 19 in
1812 "Old Ironsides" (the USS Constitution) won a battle against
the British frigate Guerriere east of Nova Scotia. 

1848 The discovery of gold in California was reported by the New
York Herald. 

1856 Gail Borden received a patent for his process of condensing
milk by vacuum. 

1909 The first car race to be run on brick occurred at the
Indianapolis Motor Speedway. 

1917 Team managers John McGraw and Christy Matthewson were
arrested for breaking New York City's blue laws. The crime was
their teams were playing baseball on Sunday. 

1919 Afghanistan gained independence from Britain. 

1934 Adolf Hitler was approved for sole executive power in Germany
as Fuehrer. 

1940 The new Civil Aeronautics Administration awarded honorary
license #1 to Orville Wright. 

1942 About 6,000 Canadian and British soldiers launched a raid
against the Germans at Dieppe, France. They suffered about 50
percent casualties. 

1960 Francis Gary Powers, an American U-2 pilot, was convicted of
espionage in Moscow. 

1960 Two dogs were launched in a satellite into Earth's orbit by
the Soviet Union and returned safely. 

1974 During an anti-American protest in Nicosia, Cyprus, U.S.
Ambassador Rodger P. Davies was fatally wounded by a bullet while
in the American embassy. 

1981 Two Libyan SU-22s were shot down by two U.S. Navy F-14
fighters in the Gulf of Sidra. 

1991 Soviet hard-liners announced that President Mikhail Gorbachev
had been removed from power. Gorbachev returned to power two days
later. 

1998 The first piece of the 351 foot bronze statue of Christopher
Columbus arrived in San Juan, Puerto Rico. 

1999 In Belgrade, thousands of Serbs attended a rally to demand
the resignation of Yugoslavia's President Slobodan Milosevic. 

2004 Google Inc. stock began selling on the Nasdaq Stock Market.
The initial price was set at $85 and ended the day at $100.34 with
more than 22 million shares traded. 

2016 A federal judge ordered Hillary Clinton to answer questions
from the watchdog group Judicial Watch in writing about her use of
a private email server while she was secretary of state. 

2019  smiled.