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Today is Sunday, October 21

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Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

South Carolina teen accused of shooting 
at road sign, accidentally killing a Marine 
on his front porch

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Today, October 21 in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
per minute on a manual typewriter. 
More of today in history at History
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People might not get all they work for in this world, 
but they must certainly work for all they get.
--- Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895)
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"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people.
"Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk
two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't
smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase
after women!"

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow,
I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"

"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"

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He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the
ferry.  Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the
next
hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.


So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the
dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait.
He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a
little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.


He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a
bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?'


"Sure did," the bystander said.  "But you should have waited a
minute.  The ferry is just about to dock."

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On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting
to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy
ad
for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was
missing. The unexpected silence continued for several
moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the
crowd  demanded, "Okay, who's siting on the remote?"

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Senators at the dump road

If you want to see thousands of them, go to "Council Flats"
in Haines, Alaska. They snag dead salmon drifting down the river,
fly up to some tree and eat it, then sit there waiting until it
is digested, then they go get another salmon.
With a Million salmon going up river to spawn and die, you can
watch that for 3 - 4 weeks.

There are lots of bears there too. They grab live salmon heading
up river. You can take pictures from safe pull-outs on the Haines
Road.

It is maybe not too late to reserve a hotel room for October
2021.

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Eason Reid Gravley, 17,
Greenwood County,
South Carolina
South Carolina teen accused of 
shooting at road sign, accidentally killing 
Marine on his front porch

A South Carolina teenager is accused of firing a gun at a road
sign and accidentally shooting and killing a Marine on his porch.

The State newspaper reported 17-year-old Eason Reid Gravley faces
charges of involuntary manslaughter and possession of a handgun
in connection to the death of 48-year-old Joe Darius Black.

The suspect allegedly fired the gun at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday
in Greenwood County, fatally hitting the victim in the chest.

The bullet  passed through or by the road sign  and into a wooded
area near Black's home, according to deputies.

Black leaves behind a wife and four children. He retired from the
U.S. Marine Corps after serving 20 years.


From: Coral
Re: Need a filter for foreign spam

Dear Webby
That trick was slick!
It catches 2-3 spams every single download, and never a false
alarm like with those long and convoluted ones from those paid
subscriptions! I love it!
Got any more gems like that? I need one for catching Russian or
Asian spam.
Coral

Dear Coral
Glad you like it!
OK, here is another one like that: I call it base64
Mark for blacklisting
Mark for Deleting
On Process
ANY rules

If the Entire header -- contains -- base64
If the Entire header -- contains -- iso-9959-1
If the body -- contains -- Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64

Keep it red and visible or a month to see if you get any false 
alarms. I haven't had any false alarms and made it invisible.

For those who are new to MailWasher:
You can give each filter a long and descriptive name and also
a short status name that shows up in the list with the spam
that it caught. You can choose the color for the status name.
I use different shades of red for new filters that I am still 
testing and watching,
sh*t brown for spam filters that have proven themselves to 
be reliable, 
green for friends, so that even if they jokingly use typical 
spam words, they won't get dumped, and 
blue for business contacts and subscriptions.

You can of course use any of 16 Million colors of your choice,
whatever colors make the most sense for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy
loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack
intelligence. You will live for 40 years."

The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is
too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was
so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold
vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will
be his greatest companion. You will eat his table
scraps and live for 30 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog
is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was
so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are
Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like
an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20
years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as
the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give
me no more than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man,
the only rational being that walks the earth. You will
use your intelligence to have mastery over the
creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and
live for 20 years."

And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20
years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years
the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the
10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then
marry and live 20 years like a mule working and
carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have
children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house
and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry;
then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey,
acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




**BEEP**
You have reached the Breast Cancer Self-Examination
Hotline.

Press one to continue.

(pause)

Now, press the other one.

**BEEP**

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Shop at Antique Malls or Flea Markets
When you are shopping for Christmas, don't overlook antique
malls and flea markets. You can find some unique and unusual
gifts that you can't find elsewhere (or make yourself) for a
variety of prices, even as cheap as a few dollars!

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Ontario's Allan Gardens Conservatory

___________________________________________________

A woman comes home one day and says to her dead-beat
husband, "Guess what?
I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no over-
time, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," her husband says.

"Yeah, I thought so, too," she agrees. "You start Monday."

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Four mothers were having coffee together discussing
(bragging) how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest.  When he
walks into room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a
bishop.  Whenever he walks into a room, people say,
'Your Grace'."

The third catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put
you down, but my son is a Cardinal.  Whenever he walks
into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence.

The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied,
male stripper. 
Whenever he walks into a room, the women say, 'Oh my God'"




Today October 21 in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was
launched in Boston's harbor. 

1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. The
British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 

1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 

1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. It
would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 

1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War I
near Nancy, France. 

1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per
minute on a manual typewriter. 

1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY. 

1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 

1927 In New York City, construction began on the George
Washington Bridge. 

1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was reduced
to rubble and captured by U.S. troops. 

1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 

1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 

1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York.
The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 

1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War. 

1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 

1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action
was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American
diplomats. 

1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released
after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 

1993 The play "The Twilight of the Golds" opened. 

1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North
Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 

1998 Cancer specialist Dr. Jane Henney became the FDA's first
female commissioner. 

2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial birth
abortions. 

2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer
of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist
nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.

2018  smiled.


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, that's all for today.



Have FUN !

Dear Webby from Webby.com


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